Just recently I was at my niece's school play with my 8-month old child. He was dressed in a button-up blue striped onesie with a collar and jean shorts. Green camouflage socks were on his feet and a fauxhawk hairstyle (courtesy of his mom) topped him off. He was as cute as a button, and many confirmed that fact with their oohs and ahhs.
As is usually customary when we go to large gatherings, parties, events, and such, I had Alexander in my arms. I love the reciprocal attention I get as I show him off. It's selfish, I know, but there's no other way to just walk into a room and have everyone falling all over you. The trick is to keep the kid in your arms. Otherwise, as soon as he is held by someone else, it's like being the small kid at school trying to get his lunchbox back from the bullies. He gets passed around so quickly that within a few seconds I go from the man with the cute baby to just another face in the crowd.
So, I had him in my arms during the intermission, and since he was a little tired his head was resting on my shoulder. With a child so active as he is, it's nice when he just winds down and snuggles. You feel like you could hold him forever. His eyes were still open and he was looking around the room at all the people milling about. Then, from behind me, I heard a comment that I get all too often.
"What a cute baby. How old is she?"
I politely corrected her and said, "He is 8 months old."
She immediately flushed a little and apologized and then continued to talk about how adorable he was before shifting her conversation to someone else nearby.
Since Alexander was born, I've had different people come up and confuse the gender of my baby. We've tried to assist them by dressing him in manly colors and clothes, but we still have the occasional sex-changing comment. Maybe I'm a little biased in my opinion, but I don't think my kid looks like a girl, and I'm hoping the comments stop so that he doesn't have a complex in the future.
Instead of assuming a child's gender, the easiest and safest way to approach a questionable situation is simply to use "baby" instead of "him" or "her." For instance, "What a cute baby." "How old is your baby?" "Look at how well your baby sits." "I love your baby's hair." By this point, the parent is usually tired of hearing "your baby" that they will respond with "He's a year old." "She's really a good baby." Or something similar. Of course, if they just aren't getting the hint that you don't know what sex their child is, then you can continue with the annoying "your baby" line, or just ask what the baby's name is. Hopefully, this will elicit a name that will lead you in the right direction as to what pronoun to use. Just watch out for those unisex names like Sam or Chris. If you get one of those, just start saying "it" instead of "him" or "her". If the parents are willing to use a non-gender specific name, then you're free to do the same.
We'll probably have to continue to clarify Alexander's sex to others, but I guess I should count myself lucky that he's as cute as everyone says he is. We'll work on his manly nature later.
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